Courage is contagious. Every time we choose courage we make everyone around us a little better and world a little braver. – Brene Brown
Hey everyone! The title of this blog post pretty much sums up the message i'm trying to get across, but I obviously want to get a little deeper into the subject of why the act of trying to trick people into thinking that you're wearing a diamond ring when you aren't, simply needs to stop.
Growing my jewellery business over the last three years has allowed me the honour of working with so many wonderful people. Throughout this time I have also noticed very clear trends when it comes to the reasons many couples are choosing to explore the purchase of a moissanite. What I have noticed is that most generally, there are four types of clients who come by my office:
1. The client who is totally 100% onboard with rocking a moissanite stone openly because they love it, fully embrace the idea of it, and think that it's a beautiful gemstone they are proud to own/wear. These clients are usually the ones who purchase the biggest and most elaborate rings from me out of any others because they aren't trying to play it safe and be modest about making the ring of their dreams come to life. They are extremely open about their moissanite purchase with others.
2. The client who can afford to buy a diamond if they really wanted to, but understands that the diamond industry is a bit of a scam when it comes to their prices, and therefore doesn't see the point in spending their hard-earned money on a single purchase that society makes them feel that they need to make. These clients are usually the ones who very confidently buy the ring they think is the nicest and most suited toward their true personality, whether it be a big stone, small stone, coloured stone, etc and fully plan to tell people that it's a moissanite either way.
3. The client who is not financially capable of purchasing the diamond that they would like and so they are turning to moissanite as an alternative (either permanently or as a temporary placeholder) because it's the closest thing to a diamond on the market. These clients usually buy a more modest sized stone because they don't plan on telling people that it's not a diamond and therefore choose a size of stone that looks like the most 'realistic' to not spark any suspicion from friends and family.
4. The client who fully intends to try and pass the moissanite off as a diamond. This client is always overly concerned about the optical properties of moissanite in comparison to diamond and needs reassurance as to whether or not other people will be able to tell it's not 'real'. They almost always ask if I have a diamond in stock to compare it to vs. just appreciating moissanites beauty for what it is. These clients usually go with a smaller size stone in a warmer colour because they are trying to achieve the look of a diamond that they feel others would believe they could potentially afford.
Now, I want to make very clear that my intention with this post is not to judge anyone or intentionally make anyone feel bad for their personal choices. My only intention here is to spark conversation so as to inspire real change in this industry. If we keep pretending that this isn't happening and keep avoiding bringing attention to the reality at hand, then it will just continue to persist and i'm a little over it to be honest. I mean, let's be real here in that people don't tend to change their behaviour unless they are made to feel slightly bad about it and so in the case of this seemingly harmless deception, when the result is the perpetuation of the actual harm the diamond industry is doing to our society, I don't mind hurting a few peoples feelings if they choose to be offended.
While i'm not the type of person who believes that size matters, I won't pretend that it doesn't break my heart a little every time a client comes into my office looking for a moissanite under 1CT in size, or asking if I have diamonds here to compare the moissanite to because they fall into client types 3 & 4. They are the people that I am writing this post for because I so strongly believe that if everyone just decided to tell people about moissanite instead of hiding behind it, then it would quickly become just as 'normal' of a purchase as a diamond is and immediately break the spell that the diamond industry has cast over most of our society. That said, if people don't stop trying to pass off their moissanite as diamond, then others will continue to feel pressure to overexert themselves financially in order to buy them, and the cycle of shame, debt, and very ugly rings will continue.
It will always be my strong personal opinion that if it's that important for you to own or have the appearance of owning a diamond, then just save up your money and buy a diamond. Pretending that you can afford a diamond ring is only going to continue to make people feel bad when they can't, making them more likely to lie as well because they feel ashamed about it. And if you don't actually care that much about owning a diamond but feel pressured to lie because you don't want to feel judged for not having one... then I think it's time to at least try and be a little braver! I promise, once you rip off the bandaid, you'll realize that 9/10 people really couldn't care less and that it's all in your head. Feeding into this ridiculous belief system will only perpetuate the diamond industries goal of shaming you into spending money that you do or don't have, on a product that only has meaning because they gave it meaning and then forced that meaning onto you in order to make themselves rich.
The irony of it all is that while the diamond industry is technically supposed to be in the business of 'love', the people profiting off it don't really care about you, your love, or your happiness at all. I got into this business because I actually do care about the happiness of others and I hate that this is even an issue causing people so much stress and anxiety. That's why I also put my time into writing these blog posts, so that they might help others feel more comfortable about making the decision to be a fellow pioneer. If what makes you the happiest is a beautiful engagement ring meant to symbolize your love, then I want you to have the ring of your wildest dreams while actually being able to afford it comfortably. So let's start bragging about our moissanite rings instead of lying about them and let's change the world together, one ring at a a time!